Dancing to Directions Given to Me from My Heart
After "Straight to My Head" by You Me At Six
by Lindsay Stenico
*Series Editors' Pick
In Conclusion XIII
by Marc Janssen
The boxes are half unpacked in that cavern created by two dorm beds bolted to the floor. One end, blinds, staring blankly toward the street, the other, a door, leading to the ambiguous hall. He finished his sandwich at the desk as I soothed his sheets and blankets. There was a lot to put away but it was for him to do now and for me to step away from the soap and the dirty clothes hamper and the euphonium and the Dr. Who blanket.
There was no place to sit so instead I just thought of the first poem I wrote after we had met almost nineteen years before.
When they handed me Tom, he was an incredulous eggplant,
Wrapped in a sterile sheet, he peered out disapprovingly
At hands and light and sound;
Eyes dark as time below a furrowed pink brow, new and wrinkled, looked up.
He yawned with the voice of a cantateuer and something inside me happily broke.
Later, outside the glass door that protects the music majors from the world, there was nothing left to do, no more daily banter, no more walks through dusk’s gathering arms, no more kitchen discoveries, no more lessons that never really were taught, and in any event there was no time for that anyway.
So I kissed you on the forehead and we both turned to go. But it was I who glanced back again and watched you open and walk through the glass door and up the stairs and disappear into the hallway.
by Andrea Wagner
I wish I could say it’s been months
But it’s been so long;
You point your camera and tell me to smile
And I give it my all, my best ones
Are always for you.
When did this happen?
When did I put away my heart,
Gross, quivering, so vulnerable,
Heavy and dark and wanting
But knowing I can’t?
It keeps happening, yesterday, today, tomorrow stalks behind me with a bomb but no batteries, a fist in my mouth and disgust pours out of me with every second I keep trying to help you, I really do, but I keep messing up, I keep hitting walls, I want to get away but I
I don’t want to get in trouble
I don’t want to hurt you
I love you but it’s hard.